I've been feeling very wistfull lately; thinking about how different my life might have been if I had made different choices at different times in my life. I can never understand those people who say they have no regrets and wouldn't change anything in their lives. This seems bizarre to me. There's never enough time to do everything one would want so how can anyone say they would do everything the same again? As for regrets, well, my life is full of those, but perhaps that's more to do with having the type of character that has a tendency to beat oneself up. Interesting to reflect on what would be my biggest regret, and if I could change one thing what would it be? I'll need to think about this, but on second thoughts it's probably best not to! This shot from Ireland is one that often comes to mind when I think about the happy times I had in this lovely country. I half dream of one day moving to Ireland to hide away in a small cottage with lots of dogs somewhere very remote - perhaps it's the pull of my Irish roots - but I know this will never happen.
3 comments:
Hi Christine!
Of course, I never told you this, but we honeymooned in Ireland! It was 1988, and when we crossed from Ireland into Northern Ireland at Derry, the British soldiers couldn't believe we were on our honeymoon (they had stopped us because the rental car had Irish plates), but once we gave them our passports and chatted a little, they believed us, but laughed!
Now, I want to think more about your post, and leave another comment later!
I know someone who says "Never say never!" But I think that is legalistic, or being really picky. Anyway, it's fun to dream about a lovely little cottage in Ireland, close to a beach, with lots of dogs, down a quaint little lane. Of course, Ireland has changed a great deal in the last ten years of so--I think I might have difficulty recognizing a lot of the places we went to.
But thinking about regrets--I really can't be regretful, because if I regretted my marriage, and had done it differently, then I wouldn't have these wonderful children. You don't have the children, and that really does change things . . . but thinking back on what you would change may not be the most useful. Thinking ahead to what you can change in the future may be more helpful! I have trouble thinking about the future as I really don't know what is the best thing to do. I really need to pray harder to try and figure out what I should be doing . . .
But thinking back on what you would change in the past may be quite helpful--to help avoid similar mistakes in the future . . .
So, just some thoughts . . .
Continued dialogue also may be a good thing on this subject . . .
Some recently told me that it's not the things we do that we regret but the things that we don't do. I guess in a way this is true. But this is not the same as saying that if I had my time again I would choose to do some things differently. I know I have a tendency for self-criticism which can be stultifying so I'm trying hard to take more risks, to do things that I might otherwise say no to rather than find that I build up regrets for the things I didn't do. Sorry this is a bit wistful, must have got me on a sorrowful day!
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